This anectode from my mate Swoo who is a library manager - he's showing some big cheese from a "morketing" agency around the library, trying to explain all the services they offer, being polite and affable (as ever) and trying to impress upon the "morketeer" just how wonderful libraries are. Only trouble is he keeps being interrupted by their resident weirdo who shouts things across the room like "How do you spell strychnine?" and "How come yiz don't have any bukes on poisoning?" and "What website do I go to to see about gettin' a gun license?" etc. Kind of took the gloss off.

He went on to explain that said weirdo is obsessed with the fact that you can kill someone with a biro, is boning up on Krav Maga and has ordered in a book about snipers. I thought our "True Crime" lurkers were dodgy. Swoo asked me if we had any books on poisoning etc. and I told him that we do, at least we have one on poisons that I could think of. I also (stupidly) told him that my greatest shame was having ordered in books on forensics, so all my would-be-killers lurking around all day reading about their predecessors can now figure out how not to leave any evidence (apart from hours of CCTV footage of them doing their "research" in the shop). He laughed and said he'd be sending his weirdo our way.

Great.

Must remember to tell everyone to hide all biros...